If you’re reading this, no doubt you’ve realized that the rapture, predicted by Harold Camping of the Family Radio Network to occur on May 21, 2011, came and went and you were left behind. Chances are, this also means your kids were not taken home to Jesus either and, almost certainly, they’ll notice Monday morning that some of their friends aren’t in class and won’t be ever again. This will likely result in some confusion for your children and, as is so often the case in times of tragedy, they will need your support, guidance, and wisdom to cope with their new situation.
The first question they may have is why they weren’t taken up to heaven. It’s important that they don’t think it’s their fault. Explain that there is a strict limit of 144,000 people in heaven and they just happened to miss the cut off. If they’re old enough to worry that it might be because they weren’t good enough to get into heaven, you may need to take the blame yourself — or better still, blame your folks. After all, God exacts punishment for “the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.”
Your children may also be upset at the idea of never seeing their friends again. Remind them that the kids who are now in heaven were probably the goody-two-shoes types that weren’t any fun anyway and probably would have ratted them out whenever they did anything cool. While the “preacher’s daughter” types with their abstinence-only education might be easy pickings once puberty sits in, for the most part, kids that are good enough to get into heaven are more trouble than they’re worth. Explain that your kids are better off without them.
Once they come to terms with the new world order, they may begin to wonder about all the stuff left behind by the chosen few. Clearly, they’re not going to need it any more, since they’re all sitting around on clouds playing harps, so sure, they should feel free to help themselves. Of course, this is a great opportunity for a lesson on greed — they should not be excessive in harvesting the remainders of the recently departed. They should share with others who may be looking for new toys, clothes, and power tools.
The world is a different place now — a better place, perhaps, but still different — and your children need your love and support during this time of change and transition. Be there for them and we will all be the better for it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my neighbors have a big screen TV I’ve had my eye on for a while now.