Once upon a time… Those words usually introduce a fantastical tale that includes magical creatures, an oppressed person or people, heroes, and adventures. Often, the hero sets off on a quest to free the “damsel in distress” from whatever creature or situation is causing the distress. In today’s story, however, the story is turned around. A hero begins by liberating an entire community which leads to greater oppression, adventures, and, finally, justice and equality. (Until, of course, the sequel rolls around.)
In 2004, just over 20 years ago, the first hero in our story, then-mayor Gavin Newsom, told San Francisco’s city-county clerk to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Approximately 4,000 mistreated couples took advantage of the opportunity. Unfortunately, later that year, the state supreme court declared those marriages to be invalid, leading to various legal battles and, eventually, in early 2008, the state supreme court ruled that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional in the state of California, once again opening the door for LGBTQIA2+ folks to get married.
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In 2004, newly elected mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom threw away his political future when he directed the county clerk to begin issuing marriage licenses to all couples, regardless of their genders. This kicked the fight for marriage equality into high gear and here we are, almost ten years later, and we are well on our way to universal marriage equality in this country. And that’s not acceptable. Or, rather, it’s not enough.
Marriage is an abstract concept that, frankly, most young children don’t fully understand. For them, it’s usually good enough to know that when grown-ups love each other very much and want to be a family together, they get often get married. There’s no need to discuss the tax implications or workplace benefits or hospital visitation rights with a three-year-old. But is it necessary to limit the concept to the traditional one-man-one-woman definition just because you’re talking to a three-year-old? Even if you, personally, are okay with the idea of same-sex marriage? Even if you live in a country where same-sex marriage is legal? Lisa van de Geyn, writing in Today’s Parent, seems to think so, because talking about same-sex marriage is hard.
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