There’ll Be No Coming Out In My House

A ClosetIf you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly heard plenty of stories of kids coming out to their parents that they are gay or lesbian.  Some of them have been amusing, others endearing, and some, unfortunately, have been heartbreaking.  Parents have responded with humour, with understanding, and with fear and loathing.  Some parents have gone so far as to disown their children and kick them out of the house.  That won’t happen in my house, but I’ll tell you that there also won’t be any “coming out” either.

My oldest just turned twelve and my second is about to turn ten.  The dating years (and the accompanying drama) aren’t that far off.  At twelve years old, my son is an accomplished dancer who loves to sing.  When he was younger, he played with dolls and he is very sensitive and caring.  Of course, none of that has any bearing on his sexual orientation, just as his love of sports (I blame my mother-in-law), LEGO, and, seemingly, dirt is irrelevant as well.  At this point, I don’t know if he will be straight, gay, or some other possibility.  And, frankly, I don’t think he knows either — he’s far more interested in angry birds, Jedi knights, and Bugattis to be thinking about such silly things.

But, one day, in the not-too-distant future, he will come home and say that he wants to go out on a date or take someone to the school dance or that he kissed someone at a friend’s party.  Whether that someone is a boy or a girl won’t matter because they’ll be someone that my son cares about and that’s all that really matters.

It’s almost certain that his first love, and my daughter’s and my second, six-year-old son’s, will not last and will very likely end in heartbreak.  Learning the ins-and-outs of relationships is hard enough without having to stress out about whether or not a relationship will be accepted.  The people that my kids date and fall in and out of love with will have to treat them with respect and be caring and, ideally, be fun to be around, but what naughty bits they’re packing really isn’t relevant.


This post is part of Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day 2014.

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